He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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