Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
