Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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