I'll bet she douches with gravy.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
