Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
