i permit you to call me
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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