She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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