'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
