At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
