So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
