I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
