im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need a burrito and a hug.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize