some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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