I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
