Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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