I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
