I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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