matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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