So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
