you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize