Where is the hickey?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This is the high leading the old right now
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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