can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
