Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize