You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
