Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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