I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
