well I can't set my house on fire every night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
