I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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