i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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