she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
