$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
