I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
