haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
