Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
