its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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