Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am naked and annoyed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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