That's when you crack a 10am beer
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
