ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have tasted many bathrooms
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
