We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
