He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize