What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
