i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You ruined the universe
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