just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
