i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize