does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She bit a glass in half.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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