Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
