then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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