It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
