did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
