Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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