I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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