i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
PANTIES FOUND
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