plz talk dirty to me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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