dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize