Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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