I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
