Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
