Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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