he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
