David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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