I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
