i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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