I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
