Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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