bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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