Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
