Me. At least after what I've been through.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
