I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And then he peed in my hair
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